< Back to blog

That’s a cracker! Posted On 24 December 2020

They may make you groan and chuckle in equal measure, but Christmas cracker jokes are  part of the festive fun

 

It’s Tom Smith’s fault.

After adopting the French idea of wrapping sugared almonds in fancy paper, the London confectioner decided, in the late 1840s, to expand his market from the discerning Victorian gents who were buying them as tokens of affection for their lady friends at Christmas.

Mottoes and poems had already been included, but one night the bangs and crackles from his log fire gave him the idea of having the tokens erupt from the package with a bang. To the gentry, nothing says ‘I love you’ like a small explosion.

Buying a mild gunpowder formula from Brocks Fireworks, Smith set to work… and the Christmas cracker was born. Paper hats were added in the 1900s when his sons ran Tom Smith’s Crackers, and in the 1930s, jokes replaced the poems.

With the Royal Household as a customer, the company has flourished, although the standard of humour has not, spawning a genre of excruciating puns and riddles such as these little gems:

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsellitis.

Why did nobody want Rudolph and Blitzen at the market? They were two deer.

Where does Santa send his overweight helpers? To the elf spa.

What goes Oh, Oh, Oh? Santa walking backwards.

What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut? A barberqueue

What do you call a boomerang that does not come back? A stick.

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary one? The Christmas alphabet has No-el.

What do snowman wear on their heads? Ice caps.

What’s Santa’s favourite pizza? One that’s deep pan, crisp and even.

Why are Santa’s deer always wet? They’re rain deers.

A drummer has moved in next door. He’s got four daughters all called Anna, and when asked how he identifies them, he said: Anna 1, Anna 2, Anna 3, Anna 4.

What do frogs wear on their feet? Open-toad sandals.

Someone threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at me. Luckily my wounds are only super fish oil

What happened to Santa when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker.

And finally, after the COVID-ravaged year we have endured, this year’s crackers might include:

Why did Mary and Joseph miss their conference call? There was no Zoom at the inn.

< Back to blog

Connect with us

Recent Posts

FA Cup semi-Final Preview

Four teams battle it out to reach the 2021 FA Cup Final   Man City v Chelsea. Saturday, 5.30 pm Pep Guardiola’s Man City go into this game knowing they are closing in on an unprecedented quadruple, while Thomas Tuchel’s Chelsea have found form under their new manager at the business end of the season. …

Read more...

Picnic wine to enjoy this Spring and Summer

Meeting friends and family outside is even better with a good quality vino   With up to six people able to meet in back gardens and outdoors, and the weather slowly warming up, it’s a perfect time for picnics and BBQs at home (in your back garden) and out and about. So let’s have a …

Read more...

Average property price at record levels

The average price of a UK home is at record high levels   In March, the average price of a UK home jumped a further 1.1% to a record high of £254,606 as government measures to support the market continue to drive interest from buyers. The data from Halifax shows that since March 2020, house …

Read more...

Inspect the gadgets

Stand out from the crowd with the latest kitchen aids   It is an inescapable fact that the kitchen is the heart of the home. More than just a collection of units, it is the place where memories are forged and culinary disasters are celebrated as much as the triumphs; It is also a place …

Read more...

Lockdown lifted

Stage two of the lifting of lockdown starts today, but what is opening?   As part of the ‘Roadmap’ out of lockdown, today, the 12th of April, has been a day business owners across the country have been waiting for. Not just business owners though with gyms, outside pubs and restaurants, libraries, hairdressers and beauty …

Read more...